Totally Fictional

Here’s the accounts of a purely fictional email thread…  Remember it is only FICTIONAL. Read from the bottom up.


From: MWaddams [mailto:GiveMeADesk@PointyHair.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 1st, 2005 10:45 AM
TO:    Our Manager; Overworked; Confused
CC:    Immediate Reports
Subject: RE:RE:RE:FW:Policy Update; PDA and Other Productive Handheld Computers

You people don’t get it.

RANT ON

Laws and corporate policies are one and the same. What is the purpose? Really?

As a citizen of the United States do you know every law enacted in your life time? No.

Do you know all the laws that govern your normal day-to-day, year-to-year activities? Most likely… Not.

In plain terms, a vast majority of laws out there are intended to be punitive and reactionary in nature and not proactive to deter breaking the laws in the first place.

The stupid reason societies have thousands of laws is so that we can all feel SAFER. Yes, don’t you feel safe that there is a law that most likely covers all transgressions?

The whole point that security is out there making these rules is to be able to say:

WE TOLD YOU SO. You left that corporate conference call number on your personal PDA and it happen to be the conference call and pass code for an internal financial audit meeting in which the VP of finance at the beginning of the call jokingly said “We have no fundamentals.” This then got leaked out to the press and BAM! The stock is down seventy five percent, massive layoffs – all because of YOU!

Then, you will be promptly walked out the door and security can rest easier because their policy worked by getting rid of a non-compliant employee!

I know this RANT is long, but the point is that instead of finding real solutions to problems, it is easier to make a rule and then reactively deal with the exceptions that come up. Need I remind you of the Pinto where the number crunchers realized that it was much cheaper to not fix the problem and pay out on the back end for the few who did manage to die in rear end collisions.

So, as an employee we are doomed to these rules that oppress the many because of the stupid FEW!

RANT OFF

Yes, I know there are a lot of benefits to rules, policies and laws. And for the enlightened, law abiding and reasonable citizens doing the “right thing” is not rocket science.  If we worked or lived in Eden then I would suggest there would be no laws as each person would naturally know what is right or wrong and how to behave. However, we must understand that there are challenged people among us and sometimes it is ourselves and we need to be protected, even if we don’t know the protection exist. So, in conclusion, you have to be smart in your use of technology so that you don’t inadvertently release company information to outsiders. It is all of our jobs to ensure that we are good stewards of the responsibilities given to us.

RANT REALLY OFF!

Regards,
Milton


From: Confused [mailto:justshootme_please@PointyHair.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 1st, 2005 10:45 AM
TO:    Our Manager; Overworked
CC:    Immediate Reports
Subject: RE:RE:FW:Policy Update; PDA and Other Productive Handheld Computers

Great, I can now remove all team meetings and contact information from my PDA. Hey, does this mean I can not have company related discussions using my PDA cell phone? I think I’m going to need a new PDA cell phone or I can go back to the trusty Ma-Bell phone we use to have? I’m sure that is a trustworthy platform.

-Confused


From: Overworked [mailto:justshootme@PointyHair.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 1st, 2005 10:45 AM
TO:    Our Manager
CC:    Immediate ReportsSubject: RE:FW:Policy Update; PDA and Other Productive Handheld Computers

Manager,
Can you please extend the finger to these Top Notch Security People. Do they not have a clue as to fact that we are indeed in the 21st CENTURY? I can hardly breath from their last fumigating policy revision! If this policy does indeed change, you will need to purchase me a company owned PDA as I do actually use it in a productive way. I would love nothing else than to carry around two PDAs as one isn’t enough fun as it is!

If there is a budget issue with this request, please forward said cost to the trusty, security team. If all fails I guess paper and pencil will suffice.

Sincerely,
Overworked


From: Our Manager [mailto:DontThinkAboutReplying@PointyHair.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 2nd, 2005 10:30 AM
TO:    Immediate Reports
Subject: FW:Policy Update; PDA and Other Productive Handheld Computers

FYI…

The Manager


From: Top Notch Security Team [mailto:noSpam_security@PointyHair.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 1st, 2005 6:30 AM
TO:    Security Contacts
Subject: Policy Update; PDA and Other Productive Handheld Computers

Find the revised policy update below in reference to PDA’s and Handheld computers. Bla bla bla…

In summary, no personal PDA’s or Hand-Held Computing Devices  are allowed to connect to the network, including PDA based cell phones (PERIOD)

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